Worry. What a powerful little word. Today I’ve been thinking about worry. Mainly because I have a health situation that is causing me worry. I’ve been consumed with worry, anxiety, dread, fear, stress, and any other negative word you can think of.
After some prayer, soothing tunes, and tears I felt a peace come over me. What do I have to worry about? I know the ultimate healer. I’m a child of God. Whose hands would I rather be in? I started thinking to myself how did I get here to this peaceful moment.
You see, I am not a peaceful thinker. I’m a worrier and a thinker. It’s what I do best. I think like it is my job. I believe in healing for others, miracles for others, and peace for others but not for me. Don’t get me wrong, I believe God is good to me.
I started seeking God a few months back because I was stagnant and I knew that I was trapped in my negative thoughts. It was a dark time and I will talk more about that at another time. Flash forward a few months and years of chains in my thinking are being broken, my heart is soft and tender again. I can feel my mind, thoughts, and anxiety changing.
Although all of these great changes have been happening I found myself once again becoming trapped into worrying. Why? Because I’m a woman made of flesh and blood. I’m not perfect, I will always make mistakes, and I will never be perfect.
Today it was like a light switch flipped in my mind and I realized that my worry does nothing for my faith, my walk with God, my life, or the issue I’m so fearful of. All fear and anxiety does is trap me in my old ways of thinking and I’m a new person. For a moment, the boldness and peace that I felt scared me. I was shocked that I felt peace. I began to doubt it then I quickly stopped and said, I know this is you Lord, and thank you.