I’ve talked about my faith on the blog a few times over the years. I’m not sure if I ever fully express it in the way I want to but each time I’ve given my all. Here we go again and I hope I can get this all out. My faith is important to me. I can’t imagine not praying or talking to God. My talks with God bring me comfort and he has answered me in numerous ways throughout my entire life. I have prayed and talked to God since I was a young child.
Even though my faith is important to me I fail miserably at expressing it. My hopes are this post will help someone else out there who perhaps feels as though they always spiritually fall short. Those who are afraid to speak of their faith because they know they mess up sometimes. This post is about realizing we all mess up and make mistakes but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about our faith.
Let me be clear, I fall short spiritually because of a ton of reasons. Most of them being I’m human. I think every Christan falls short because we are never going to be perfect Christians. With that said, I know I can try harder. 100% of the time I feel as though I am failing God. I know he doesn’t want me to feel that way. All he wants is for me to give him my heart and follow his word. For the most part, I don’t follow his word and it hurts me to type that out. What an open eyes realization. Like a stubborn child, I love God with all my heart but I often refuse to listen to or obey him. I want to be so much better than that. I know God wants me to better than that as well.
I think my problem has always been that I spiritually live in an area where I always feel like I am not good enough. I feel I can’t talk about my faith because I fail and because I make mistakes. Meaning, I’m not worthy of God’s love. I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, I sin, I fall short, I disobey, I cuss at people in drive-thrus. I’m not a terrible person and I have flaws because I’m made of flesh and blood. I finally wrapped my mind around this truth. I’m always going to mess up and I can learn and grow in God’s love and not dwell on whatever sin or failure happened. I’m never going to reach a place of spiritual perfection but as long as my heart is in the right place that is all that matters.
Of course, I never expected to actually be perfect but I get so stuck on the failure that I don’t grow. I sit in an area of stagnant spiritually where I feel lost and that is not what God wants. Since I feel lost I don’t speak of my faith because I don’t want to bring shame to being a Christian. I don’t people to judge me, think I’m a bad Christian or judge God based on my actions. See where I’m going here? I don’t speak of my faith but I want to speak of my faith. I don’t because I know I fall short as a Christian. So what can be done about this? What can I do to move forward, accept that I will make mistakes, grow, and start talking more about my faith?
Here are my thoughts:
- First, accept that I will never be perfect which of course is obvious. Even though it’s obvious it still feels like I should be somehow a perfect Christian. So accept it and realize we all make mistakes and just stay in the race. Get up, brush off the junk, and keep running. Quit running on the sideline and get in the race.
- Pray with an open heart. So many times I’ve wanted to pour my heart out to God and just talk to him openly and honestly. I often hold back but the funny thing is he knows my heart already. I want to talk to God more but with better quality. I want to talk to him with my heart wide open. Letting God in is the best way to resolve feelings of self-doubt because I feel like he wants to comfort us. We are beautifully designed and he built us with emotions. It makes sense that he would want to help us when we experience emotions of any kind. Especially if those emotions are affecting our faith.
- Speak of my faith. End of story. I can’t limit or not speak about my faith for fear of judgment. People will judge no matter what and that can’t be a factor in my life. There is no room for spiritual fear in my life. I’ll speak of my faith and hopefully, someone else needs whatever I have to say as well. And hopefully, they know I’m a real person flawed and all.
- Read my Bible more. I wonder how many answers to my needs are in the Bible? I know there are tons. So why am I trying to get through this life without reading the instructions? I think reading the Bible will not only help me grow in my faith but it will help me find peace and comfort in God.
- Make friends with people who love God. I love making friends and I’m fortunate to have some great quality friends. Even better, I have some great friends who love God. Even though I have these great friends who love God I rarely talk about God with them. How crazy. We can learn valuable information from one another. Also, what a great way to learn that we probably all feel the same emotions at some point or another. Perhaps we have faced a similar issue or experienced a similar joy. I’ll never know if I don’t speak up.
Everyone needs a starting place and we all need something to believe in. This is my starting place. This is my something to believe in.