Clear your mind. Everyone gives the same advice when they hear someone is stressed – just calm down and clear your mind. Sounds easy enough right? But what if you can’t clear your mind? What if you can’t turn off the stress, the inner noise, or whatever it is that is bothering you? If it was as easy as, clear your mind, I’m sure the whole world would push the stop button and stress would become a nearly forgotten word. So what do you do when you’re stuck in a stress rut and you can’t get your mind cleared out.
I’m not a therapist, doctor, or a life coach. I’m just a woman who knows a thing or two about stress. I don’t have it all figured out and I often find myself stuck in a stress rut. Life sometimes has a way of walking up to me and smacking me in the face so to speak. Sometimes I have it all figured out and other times, I’m like pre-iPhone days and I have no map. Where am I?
Lately, I’ve been so stressed that I can barely function. Does that sound dramatic? I don’t care if it does, because it is the truth. The truth is a scary thing sometimes. What if someone reads this and instantly labels me with some negative label? *insert shrugs shoulder emoji* I can’t care about that as I’m telling you the truth. It’s part of sharing the realness of life. It’s not always pretty. Life is not all about curated, edited, happy images in a highlight reel. Life is weird and rough sometimes.
If you follow me on social media, you may see days where I talk about my sadness and downtimes, and other days were I appear fine and happy. I can’t talk about my unhappiness every single time I feel unhappy because if I did, you would unfollow me. ha! Sorta kidding on that. In all seriousness though, I’ve been unhappy a ton this year. It’s been a rough year. Let’s just say, 35 wasn’t personally my greatest year
35 was a great year professionally. I have tons to be thankful for. My business is booming. I’m meeting my goals. I should be on cloud nine. While I’m thrilled about my professional accomplishments, I’ve been fighting some behind the scenes issues that have been rough to handle, rough to sort out, rough to understand, and have put me in territory I don’t know how to navigate. I’m fine, rolls off my tongue daily and holds no value of truth.
I’m not a dramatic person, I don’t want pity, I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m expressing the truth because I want anyone else out there who may feel the way I do, to know they are not alone. I know I can’t live in the downtimes and sadness. I know I can’t just sit in my sadness. I mean, sure, I could choose to be down and out but that isn’t me. I’m a positive person, I’m someone who wants to spread happiness. I plan to bounce back. So, how do you bounce back?
So, this is where I’m at and this is what I’m doing to clear my mind.
Allow yourself some time
I’m allowing myself time to be sad. I’ve accepted that I’m in a sad place and I didn’t enter this sad place overnight. It took time, a few events, a bunch of stress, and a whole other ton of emotions to get me here. I’m here so might as well accept it, not panic over it, and make a plan to get out. I’ve given myself time to accept where I am, and now I’m ready to move forward.
Live in the present
I’m working on staying focused. When the anxious feelings of stress, failure, fear, guilt, or life obstacles pop-up, I’m simply working to keep my mind in the present time. I’m working to live in the present through being focused on the here and now. I can’t fear the future, I can’t feel guilty over the past, I can’t be scared of the unknown, I can’t be angry about things that don’t make sense. All I can do is remain focused on where I am and where I’m going. I’m headed up.
Let the past be the past
Staying focused on the present means not living in the past. The past can be 20, 10, 5, or 1 year ago. The past can be 10 minutes ago. No matter how far the past is away from the here and now, I’m not living in the past. It would be easy for me to think of the past and dwell on it. I can think of situations, events, and people who wounded me. I could let the past shape me into something I don’t want to be. Instead, I’m choosing to let the past shape me into someone I want to be.
Remember who you are
You are you. Remember that. It’s your responsibility to shape and grow yourself. You have to make choices on who you are, where you’re heading, and how you’re growing. Set goals, make changes, and remember the type of person you want to be. I’m not the type of person to cry on the daily. I’m not the type of person who typically feels inadequate and sad as often as I have this year. I’m not the type of person to sit in sadness as long as I have this year. It’s time to remember who I am.
I’m sure I’ll write an update in a few weeks.